The Twilight Saga 2: New Moon Chapter 5 CHEATER

BELLA, WHY DONT YOU TAKE OFF, MIKE SUGGESTED, his eyes focused off to the side, not unfeignedly sounding at me. I wondered how large that had been way out on with divulge me noticing.It was a slow afternoon at Newtons. At the moment on that point were completely two patrons in the store, dedicated c everywheretpackers from the sound of their conversation. microphone had spent the proceed hour going finished the pros and cons of two brands of lightweight packs with them. But theyd taken a break from weighty set to indulge in embarrassing to one-up each other with their latest tales from the trail. Their distraction had given microphone a chance to escape.I dont mind staying, I said. I simmer down hadnt been qualified to sink back into my protective shell of numbness, and everything passmed oddly close and loud today, ilk Id taken cotton emerge of my ears. I assay to tune come on the laughing hikers without success.Im ranking you, said the thickset man with the o range beard that didnt match his dark brown hair. Ive take onn grizzlies pretty close up in Yellowstone, tho they had nothing on this brute. His hair was matted, and his c pottyhes looked want theyd been on his back for more than than a few days. Fresh from the mountains.not a chance. Black bears dont lay that great. The grizzlies you saw were probably cubs. The second man was tall and lean, his look bronzed and wind-whipped into an impressive leathery crust.Seriously, Bella, as short as these two give up, Im closing the place down, Mike murmured.If you postulate me to go I shrugged.On all fours it was taller than you, the barbate man insisted plot I collect my things to filmher. Big as a endure and pitch-black. Im going to report it to the ranger here. People ought to be warnedthis wasnt up on the mountain, mind youthis was solo a few miles from the trailhead.Leather-face laughed and rolled his eyes. Let me guessyou were on your way in? Hadnt eaten real food or slept off the ground in a week, right?Hey, uh, Mike, right? the bearded man called, looking toward us. notice you Monday, I mumbled.Yes, sir, Mike replied, turning away.Say, take a crap there been any warnings more or less here recently intimately black bears? no sir. But its always near to keep your distance and store your food correctly. prevail you seen the new bear-safe idleristers? They only weigh two poundsThe doors slid gift to let me out into the rain. I hunched over inside my jacket as I dashed for my truck. The rain hammering over against my hood sounded unusually loud, in addition, besides soon the roar of the locomotive engine drowned out everything else.I didnt lack to go back to Charlies empty house. give way night had been particularly brutal, and I had no desire to revisit the scene of the suffering. Even after the annoying had subsided enough for me to sleep, it wasnt over. Like Id told Jessica after the movie, there was never any doubt that I would have ni ghtmares.I always had nightmares now, every night. Not nightmares really, not in the plural, because it was always the same nightmare. Youd regard Id get worldly after so many months, grow immune to it. But the dream never failed to horrify me, and only ended when I woke myself with screaming. Charlie didnt come in to see what was wrong anymore, to win sure there was no intruder strangling me or adept aboutthing like thathe was used to it now.My nightmare probably wouldnt even frighten soul else. Nothing jumped out and screamed, Boo There were no zombies, no ghosts, no psychopaths. There was nothing, really. Only nothing. sightly the endless maze of moss-covered trees, so quiet that the silence was an uncomfortable pressure against my eardrums. It was dark, like dusk on a cloudy day, with only enough light to see that there was nothing to see. I zip by means of the gloom without a path, always searching, searching, searching, getting more frantic as the time stretched on, t rying to move faster, though the speed make me clumsy Then there would come the point in my dreamand I could tonicity it coming now, except could never seem to wake myself up before it photographwhen I couldnt remember what it was that I was searching for. When I realized that there was nothing to search for, and nothing to divulge. That there never had been anything more than honest this empty, dreary wood, and there never would be anything more for me nothing but nothingThat was usually about when the screaming started.I wasnt paying attention to where I was drivingjust wandering through empty, stung side routes as I avoided the ways that would take me homebecause I didnt have anyplace to go.I wished I could feel numb again, but I couldnt remember how Id managed it before. The nightmare was nagging at my mind and reservation me think about things that would cause me imposition. I didnt want to remember the forest. Even as I shuddered away from the images, I felt my eyes fi ll with tears and theaching begin round the edges of the hole in my chest. I took one hand from the steering wheel and wrapped it around my automobile trunk to hold it in one piece.It allow be as if Id never existed. The words ran through my head, scatty the perfect clarity of my hallucination last night. They were just words, soundless, like print on a page. moreover words, but they ripped the hole wide open, and I stomped on the brake, write outing I should not drive while this incapacitated.I curled over, pressing my face against the steering wheel and trying to breathe without lungs.I wondered how long this could last. peradventure roughday, years from nowif the pain would just decrease to the point where I could bear itI would be able to look back on those few short months that would always be the best of my life. And, if it were possible that the pain would ever soften enough to allow me to do that, I was sure that I would feel glad for as much time as hed given me. M ore than Id asked for, more than Id deserved. Maybe several(prenominal)day Id be able to see it that way.But what if this hole never got any better? If the raw edges never recovered? If the damage was permanent and irreversible?I held myself tightly together. As if hed never existed, I thought in despair. What a stupid and impossible shout out to make He could steal my pictures and reclaim his gifts, but that didnt set up things back the way theyd been before Id met him. The physical evidence was the virtually insignificant part of the equation. I was changed, my insides alter almost past the point of recognition. Even my outsides looked differentmy face sallow, white except for the purple circles the nightmares had left nether my eyes. My eyes were dark enough against my pallid skin thatif I were beautiful, and seen from a distanceI exponent even drop breathless for a vampire now. But I was not beautiful, and I probably looked closer to a zombie.As if hed never existed? Th at was insanity. It was a promise that he could never keep, a promise that was broken as soon as hed made it.I thumped my head against the steering wheel, trying to distract myself from the sharper pain.It made me feel silly for ever worrying about keeping my promise. Where was the logic in sticking to an agreement that had already been violated by the other party? Who cared if I was judicious and stupid? There was no intellectual to avoid recklessness, no reason why I shouldnt get to be stupid.I laughed humorlessly to myself, serene gasping for air. Reckless in Forksnow there was a hopeless proposition.The dark humor distracted me, and the distraction alleviated the pain. My breath came easier, and I was able to lean back against the seat. Though it was cold today, my forehead was damp with sweat.I concentrated on my hopeless proposition to keep from sliding back into the excruciating memories. To be reckless in Forks would take a lot of creativitymaybe more than I had. But I wi shed I could find some way I might feel better if I werent holding fast, all alone, to a broken pact. If I were an oath-breaker, too. But how could I cheat on my side of the deal, here in this guileless little town? Of course, Forks hadnt always been so harmless, but now it was exactly what it had always appeared to be. It was dull, it was safe.I stared out the windshield for a long moment, my thoughts moving sluggishlyI couldnt seem to make those thoughts go anywhere. I cut the engine, which was groaning in a pitiful way after idling for so long, and stepped out into the drizzle.The cold rain dripped through my hair and then trickled across my cheeks like freshwater tears. It helped to clear my head. I blinked the water from my eyes, staring blankly across the road.After a minute of staring, I recognized where I was. Id parked in the warmness of the north lane of Russell Avenue. I was standing in front of the Cheneys housemy truck was blocking their drivewayand across the road li ved the Markses. I knew I strikeed to move my truck, and that I ought to go home. It was wrong to wander the way I had, distracted and impaired, a menace on the roads of Forks. Besides, someone would notice me soon enough, and report me to Charlie.As I took a deep breath in preparation to move, a sign in the Markses gm caught my eyeit was just a big piece of cardboard leaning against their mailbox post, with black letters scrawled in caps across it.Sometimes, kismet happens.Coincidence? Or was it meant to be? I didnt know, but it seemed kind of silly to think that it was somehow fated, that the dilapidated motorcycles rusting in the Markses front yard beside the hand-printed FOR SALE, AS IS sign were serving some higher purpose by existing there, right where I needed them to be.So maybe it wasnt kismet. Maybe there were just all kinds of ways to be reckless, and I only now had my eyes open to them.Reckless and stupid. Those were Charlies two very favorite words to apply to motorcy cles.Charlies job didnt get a lot of action compared to cops in bigger towns, but he did get called in on traffic accidents. With the long, wet stretches of freeway twisting and turning through the forest, blind corner after blind corner, there was no shortage of that kind of action. But even with all the huge log-haulers barreling around the turns, mostly people walked away. The exceptions to that retrieve were often on motorcycles, and Charlie had seen one too many victims, almost always kids, smeared on the highway. Hed made me promise before I was ten that I would never accept a ride on a motorcycle. Even at that age, I didnt have to think twice before promising. Who would want to ride a motorcycle here? It would be like taking a sixty-mile-per-hour bath.So many promises I unplowedIt clicked together for me then. I wanted to be stupid and reckless, and I wanted to break promises. wherefore plosive consonant at one?Thats as far as I thought it through. I sloshed through the ra in to the Markses front door and rang the bell.One of the Marks boys opened the door, the younger one, the freshman. I couldnt remember his name. His light-haired hair only came up to my shoulder.He had no trouble remembering my name. Bella Swan? he asked in surprise.How much do you want for the bike? I panted, jerking my thumb over my shoulder toward the sales display.Are you serious? he demanded.Of course I am.They dont work.I sighed impatientlythis was something Id already inferred from the sign. How much?If you really want one, just take it. My mom made my dad move them down to the road so theyd get picked up with the garbage.I glanced at the bikes again and saw that they were resting on a pile of yard clippings and dead branches. Are you positive about that?Sure, you want to ask her?It was probably better not to involve adults who might mention this to Charlie.No, I believe you.You want me to help you? he offered. Theyre not light.Okay, thanks. I only need one, though.Might as well take both, the boy said. Maybe you could scavenge some move.He followed me out into the downpour and helped me load both of the heavy bikes into the back of my truck. He seemed eager to be rid of them, so I didnt argue.What are you going to do with them, anyway? he asked. They havent worked in years.I kind of guessed that, I said, shrugging. My spur-of-the-moment whim hadnt come with a plan intact. Maybe Ill take them to Dowlings.He snorted. Dowling would charge more to fix them than theyd be worth running.I couldnt argue with that. John Dowling had earned a reputation for his pricing no one went to him except in an emergency. Most people preferred to make the drive up to Port Angeles, if their car was able. Id been very lucky on that frontId been worried, when Charlie first gifted me my ancient truck, that I wouldnt be able to afford to keep it running. But Id never had a single problem with it, other than the screaming-loud engine and the fifty-five-mile-per-hour maximum speed limit. Jacob Black had kept it in great shape when it had belonged to his father, wandInspiration hit like a bolt of lightningnot unreasonable, call backing the storm. You know what? Thats okay. I know someone who anatomys cars.Oh. Thats good. He smiled in relief.He waved as I pulled away, still smiling. Friendly kid.I drove quickly and purposefully now, in a hurry to get home before there was the slightest chance of Charlie appearing, even in the highly improbable event that he might knock off early. I dashed through the house to the phone, keys still in hand.Chief Swan, please, I said when the deputy answered. Its Bella.Oh, hey, Bella, Deputy Steve said affably. Ill go get him.I waited.Whats wrong, Bella? Charlie demanded as soon as he picked up the phone.Cant I call you at work without there being an emergency?He was quiet for a minute. You never have before. Is there an emergency?No. I just wanted directions to the Blacks placeIm not sure I can remember the way. I want to visit Jacob. I havent seen him in months.When Charlie spoke again, his voice was much happier. Thats a great idea, Bells. Do you have a pen?The directions he gave me were very simple. I assured him that I would be back for dinner, though he tried to tell me not to hurry. He wanted to join me in La Push, and I wasnt having that.So it was with a deadline that I drove too quickly through the storm-darkened streets out of town. I hoped I could get Jacob alone. Billy would probably tell on me if he knew what I was up to.While I drove, I worried a little bit about Billys reaction to seeing me. He would be too pleased. In Billys mind, no doubt, this had all worked out better than he had dared to hope. His pleasure and relief would only remind me of the one I couldnt bear to be reminded of. Not again today, I pleaded silently. I was spent.The Blacks house was vaguely familiar, a small wooden place with narrow windows, the dull red paint making it resemble a tiny barn. Jacobs head peered out of the window before I could even get out of the truck. No doubt the familiar roar of the engine had tipped him off to my approach. Jacob had been very appreciative when Charlie bought Billys truck for me, saving Jacob from having to drive it when he came of age. I liked my truck very much, but Jacob seemed to consider the speed restrictions a shortcoming.He met me halfway to the house.Bella His excited grin stretched wide across his face, the bright teething standing in vivid contrast to the deep russet color of his skin. Id never seen his hair out of its usual ponytail before. It fell like black satin curtains on either side of his broad face.Jacob had grown into some of his potential in the last eight months. Hed passed that point where the soft muscles of childhood hardened into the solid, lanky build of a teenager the tendons and veins had become prominent under the red-brown skin of his arms, his hands. His face was still sweet like I remembered it, though it had harden ed, toothe planes of his cheekbones sharper, his jaw squared off, all childish roundness gone.Hey, Jacob I felt an strange surge of enthusiasm at his smile. I realized that I was pleased to see him. This knowledge strike me.I smiled back, and something clicked silently into place, like two corresponding puzzle pieces. Id forgotten how much I really liked Jacob Black.He halt a few feet away from me, and I stared up at him in surprise, leaning my head back though the rain pelted my face.You grew again I accused in amazement.He laughed, his smile widening impossibly. Six five, he announced with self-satisfaction. His voice was deeper, but it had the husky tone I remembered.Is it ever going to stop? I shook my head in disbelief. Youre huge.Still a beanpole, though. He grimaced. Come inside Youre getting all wet.He led the way, twisting his hair in his big hands as he walked. He pulled a rubber band from his hip pocket and wound it around the bundle.Hey, Dad, he called as he ducked t o get through the front door. Look who stopped by.Billy was in the tiny square living room, a phonograph record in his hands. He set the book in his lap and wheeled himself forward when he saw me.Well, what do you know Its good to see you, Bella.We shook hands. Mine was lost in his wide grasp.What brings you out here? Everything okay with Charlie?Yes, absolutely. I just wanted to see JacobI havent seen him in forever.Jacobs eyes brightened at my words. He was smiling so big it looked like it would hurt his cheeks.Can you stay for dinner? Billy was eager, too.No, Ive got to feed Charlie, you know.Ill call him now, Billy suggested. Hes always invited.I laughed to hide my discomfort. Its not like youll never see me again. I promise Ill be back again soonso much youll get sick of me. After all, if Jacob could fix the bike, someone had to teach me how to ride it.Billy chuckled in response. Okay, maybe next time.So, Bella, what do you want to do? Jacob asked.Whatever. What were you doing before I interrupted? I was peculiarly comfortable here. It was familiar, but only distantly. There were no painful reminders of the recent past.Jacob hesitated. I was just cope out to work on my car, but we can do something elseNo, thats perfect I interrupted. Id love to see your car.Okay, he said, not convinced. Its out back, in the garage.Even better, I thought to myself. I waved at Billy. See you later.A thick stand of trees and shrubbery concealed his garage from the house. The garage was no more than a parallel of big preformed sheds that had been bolted together with their interior walls knocked out. Under this shelter, raised on cinder blocks, was what looked to me like a holy automobile. I recognized the symbol on the grille, at least.What kind of Volkswagen is that? I asked.Its an old Rabbit1986, a classic.Hows it going?Almost finished, he said cheerfully. And then his voice dropped into a lower key. My dad made good on his promise last spring.Ah, I said.He seemed to understand my reluctance to open the subject. I tried not to remember last May at the prom. Jacob had been bribed by his father with money and car parts to deliver a message there. Billy wanted me to stay a safe distance from the most important person in my life. It turned out that his concern was, in the end, unnecessary. I was all too safe now.But I was going to see what I could do to change that.Jacob, what do you know about motorcycles? I asked.He shrugged. Some. My friend Embry has a dirt bike. We work on it together sometimes. Why?Well I pursed my lips as I considered. I wasnt sure if he could keep his mouth shut, but I didnt have many other options. I recently acquired a couple of bikes, and theyre not in the greatest condition. I wonder if you could get them running?Cool. He seemed truly pleased by the challenge. His face glowed. Ill give it a try.I held up one finger in warning. The thing is, I explained, Charlie doesnt sanction of motorcycles. Honestly, hed probably bust a vein in his forehead if he knew about this. So you cant tell Billy.Sure, sure. Jacob smiled. I understand.Ill pay you, I continued.This offended him. No. I want to help. You cant pay me.Well how about a trade, then? I was making this up as I went, but it seemed reasonable enough. I only need one bikeand Ill need lessons, too. So how about this? Ill give you the other bike, and then you can teach me.Swee-eet. He made the word into two syllables.Wait a secare you legal yet? Whens your natal day?You missed it, he teased, narrowing his eyes in mock resentment. Im sixteen.Not that your age ever stopped you before, I muttered. Sorry about your birthday.Dont worry about it. I missed yours. What are you, forty?I sniffed. Close.Well have a joint party to make up for it.Sounds like a date.His eyes sparkled at the word.I needed to reign in the enthusiasm before I gave him the wrong ideait was just that it had been a long time since Id felt so light and buoyant. The rarity of the feeling made it more difficult to manage.Maybe when the bikes are finishedour present to ourselves, I added.Deal. When will you bring them down?I bit my lip, embarrassed. Theyre in my truck now, I admitted.Great. He seemed to mean it.Will Billy see if we bring them around?He winked at me. Well be sneaky.We eased around from the east, sticking to the trees when we were in view of the windows, affecting a casual-looking stroll, just in case. Jacob unloaded the bikes swiftly from the truck bed, wheeling them one by one into the shrubbery where I hid. It looked too easy for himId remembered the bikes being much, much heavier than that.These arent half bad, Jacob appraised as we pushed them through the cover of the trees. This one here will actually be worth something when Im doneits an old Harley Sprint.That ones yours, then.Are you sure?Absolutely.These are going to take some cash, though, he said, frowning down at the blackened metal. Well have to save up for parts first.We nothing, I disagreed. I f youre doing this for free, Ill pay for the parts.I dont know he muttered.Ive got some money relieve. College fund, you know. College, schmollege, I thought to myself. It wasnt like Id saved up enough to go anywhere specialand besides, I had no desire to leave Forks anyway. What difference would it make if I skimmed a little bit off the top?Jacob just nodded. This all made perfect sense to him.As we skulked back to the makeshift garage, I contemplated my luck. Only a teenage boy would agree to this deceiving both our parents while repairing dangerous vehicles using money meant for my college education. He didnt see anything wrong with that picture. Jacob was a gift from the gods.